


Why does these things always happen to me?

by Hathor_girl



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Challenge Response, Drama, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Tok'ra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 09:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1813318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hathor_girl/pseuds/Hathor_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sam, host to Jolinar, was captured by the Jaffa attacking Nasya, instead of escaping through the Stargate? </p><p>Pairings: Sam/Jolinar/Martouf/Lantash, but not until the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Tok'ra Kree! Round 5, for the below prompt.  
> Prompt: 079. SG-1, Sam|Jolinar, they're captured by the Jaffa before they manage to escape through the Stargate. Now Sam is a host against her will, she's hurt, and a captive of the Goa'uld.

bold is symbiote talking with symbiote voice

~denotes internal communication between host and symbiote 

* * *

Jolinar POV

Oh, no! The host I have just taken was not offering! I do not know how I could have thought she was - I mean, how could she even know I was hiding in Quinta?

I must get to safety now, but then I must find another host, so I can leave this poor woman.

I feel her wake from the initial daze after my entry, and begin to realize what has happened.

~ **I apologize... Samantha, but right now we need to flee!"** I look up and see deathgliders.

Someone runs up from behind, yelling at my host.

"Carter! We've got to go!"

I turn to face him, feeling confused.

~Colonel! I'm a Goa'uld!~ my host tries to yell.

"You alright?"

I realize I must have blood on my lip, and that I probably look a bit dazed. I shake myself.

"Yeah."

"Let's get him outta here, come on."

He starts to pick up Quinta, but I know he is dead, and that there is no longer anything that can be done for him. I feel sadness. He was only my host for several months, and I remained hidden and dormant most of the time, but he was still my host. I love all my hosts. It is impossible not to.

What do I say to Colonel... I fish for his name in my new hosts mind, feeling dirty and guilty doing it against her will. What do I say to Colonel O'Neill?

"Dead! Had some kind of seizure. Bit his own tongue."

There! That should keep him happy.

I get up, and Colonel O'Neill grab hold of me and starts to try and get me to run faster. I feel sluggish. It always take a little while to get everything under control in a new host. There is must to get used to, and many connections to make.

Above us the deathgliders approach again, and they fire at us, again and again. One of them is hovering over the chaapa'ai, preventing us going through.

I will  _not_  be the cause of even more of these people suffering for my bad judgment! I push Colonel O'Neill aside and raise the weapon my host has over her shoulder. Quickly snatching information of use from her, I start firing at the deathglider, well aware that it will not be enough to take it down - probably not even damage it.

"Carter!" Colonel O'Neill exclaims.

"Run!" I yell, taking more steps away from him and dragging the fire of the deathglider. "Get through the... Stargate!" I flash my eyes at him to make it further clear to him I am not 'Carter', then run and jump, as the deathglider chases me, shooting after me.

Another deathglider approach Colonel O'Neill, but out of the side of my eye I see that he makes it to the chaapa'ai and jump through, just as an explosion hits close to me, sending me flying.

He must have realized there is no way he can save his team mate. At least all my hosts people made it through the chaapa'ai. I will only have endangered one of them, is my last thought before I lose consciousness.

* * *

Jack POV

"We need to go back for her!" I insist. "God! Her eyes glowed! She's... a Goa'uld! Why did she save me?"

I am very confused, but one thing is clear. I just left a member of my team behind. I  _never_  do that! We have to save her.

"You can't go back right now, Colonel. The planet is under attack," Hammond says.

"If she is a Goa'uld, then she is probably in no danger from the Jaffa." Teal'c says, calmer than I could have.

"Why did she save me? Maybe it's a juvenile, like the one that was in Kawalsky. Maybe she can fight it!"

"If it flashed it's eyes, it was in control. Isn't that right?" Daniel says.

"Yes." Teal'c confirms.

"Then the Goa'uld saved me...or maybe just wanted me out of the way. I don't know, but I do know that we can't just abandon Carter," I exclaim.

"We will not abandon her. As soon as the attack is over, we will return and search for her. We will try to reopen the Stargate in an hour." Hammond assures me.

"An hour! She could be long gone by then!" I suddenly remember something. "She was hit! The deathgliders shot at her! Why would they do that, if the Goa'uld in her ordered the attack?"

"Probably they do not know their master has a new host - or perhaps it was an enemy Goa'uld. In any case, it is likely the attacking Goa'uld will prefer taking their enemy alive." Teal'c says.

"Meaning Carter is either dead or imprisoned - and a Goa'uld regardless. Some comfort!"

Why are these things happening to my friends all the time? Kawalsky, Skaara - and Daniel's wife, Sha're. Damn Goa'uld!

* * *

Sam POV

I wake up with a bad headache. Actually, my head is not the only thing that hurts - my whole body hurts. I am sure I have a concussion, and several broken ribs - at least. I have a vague memory of deathgliders and an explosions - and flying through the air...

And of being host to a Goa'uld!

I try to lift my arm, and groan out loud when a piercing pain slices through me. The arm is obviously broken, but just as obviously it reacted to my command to move.

Perhaps I was hallucinating becoming host?

That is a question for later, because my groan called unwanted attention to me.

"The Tau'ri is awake."

"Good." A big Jaffa walks up to me and kicks me in the ribs, making me cry out.

"Careful, you brute! I think it's broken!" I complain.

The Jaffa laughs uproariously. "Good, then maybe you will be more forthcoming with your answers!" He grabs me and pulls me to a sitting position, despite my entire body complaining about the movement. "Why were you on the planet? Why did you interfere in our attack?"

"We were there by coincidence! We didn't know you were going to attack! What do you think?" I tell him.

"It is your fault that we did not capture the Tok'ra Jolinar! Your people also abducted the ashrak! Cronus will be furious, but fortunately we have  _you_  to take the blame!" the Jaffa says, lifting me up to standing for a moment, then throwing me in a corner and leaves.

When the pain in my body has subsided a little, I think about what he said. Cronus! I don't even know who that is, except that he's without doubt a Goa'uld, but I do know one thing - I am so screwed!


	2. Chapter 2

Sam POV

I must have lost consciousness for a while, because when I wake up again, I am no longer in the room I was in before. Which I now think must have been on a ship of some kind.

Suddenly a voice speaks to me. ~ **We were on a teltac - now we are on Cronus's ha'tak. In a holding cell.~**

I look around, but I see no one. "Teltac? Where are you?"

~ **A teltac is a small Goa'uld vessel. I am i** **n your head. I am Jolinar of Malkshur.~**

"In my head? How can you..." I realize what it means. "So I really was taken by a Goa'uld!"

**~I apologize, I thought you were offering. As foolish as that was. You had no way of knowing I was even there.~**

"Offering! Why would I offer to be host to a Goa'uld!"

I get the impression that the being winces. ~ **Please do not speak out loud. Right now we are alone here, but you do not want Jaffa guards to hear you and come. I would prefer to heal you a bit more before anyone knocks us around again.~**

"Is that..." I realize I don't want the Jaffa to come here anymore than she does. ~Is that why I am not suppressed? Because you're damaged, or what?~

~ **No, I am undamaged, though weak after changing hosts so often recently. You are not suppressed because I am not a Goa'uld. I am a Tok'ra.~**

~Looks like a Goa'uld to me!~ I 'scoff'.

~ **The Tok'ra are biologically Goa'uld, yes. I cannot deny that. However, we do not share their philosophy. We believe in sharing the body with the host, and we do not take unwilling hosts...~**

~Right. Because I was  _totally_  willing to be your host!~ I snort.

~ **I told you... it was an error. I am sorry. I did, in fact, break our highest law. The Tok'ra** **are... the Goa'uld resistance.~**

~Lucky me! I'm assuming that means that not only am I a host, but I am a host to someone Cronus hates. Is that correct?~

~ **Yes. That is unfortunately true. The Goa'uld hate and despise the Tok'ra, and Cronus has personal reasons to hate me in particular. The attack on Nasya happened in an attempt to kill me. There was also an ashrak - an assassin - after me.~**

~Wonderful. Why does these things always happen to me?~ I try to sit up, and find that my body still hurts.

~ **I have healed some of the most critical damage, but you are still badly injured.~**

~I can feel that!~ I sigh, and carefully lie flat on the floor. ~If your kind doesn't believe in taking unwilling hosts, what happens now then?~

~ **If you do not want to remain my host, then I will leave you... when and if I get the opportunity to find another host.~**

~Yeah, I doubt that's going to happen! I mean, I guess there must be some way you guys find hosts - if you really are a whole... organization, or whatever - but I can't say I have a clue who would volunteer. Never mind, even if such people exist, there isn't much chance of us getting out of here to find a new host, is there?~

~ **No. Sooner rather than later Cronus will send for me. Right now he does not know I am here, and only thinks he has captured a Tau'ri. That is probably the only reason we have not yet been sent for. As soon as I get close to Cronus, he will sense me and realize who I probably am.~**

~Sense you? How?~

**~The naquadah in my blood will react to the naquadah in his. It feels like a humming or buzzing. In any case, he** **will torture me... us. I will do my best to block you out, but if I lose consciousness while you are still awake, you may experience some of it.~**

~I won't tell him anything - not that I think I know anything he wants to know, if it's you he's after.~

~ **While he will certainly try to get me to tell him of other Tok'ra operatives, or the location of our bases, that is not his main interest. He hates me and wishes to see me dead - and he does not want me to die swiftly.** ~

~Great, so I can expect to be tortured to death!~

~ **In addition, Cronus has a sarcophagus, and he will likely use it to revive us for more torture - a great many times.** ~ **  
**

~This just keeps getting better and better! Any other little gems you wish to share?~ I spit.

~ **I am sorry...~**

~Yeah, yeah, you're sorry you took me as your host, against my will! You can't do anything about it...~ I take as deep a breath as I can, without causing undue pain in my chest. ~What do you say we try and find a way out of here instead of arguing? A truce? Then we can talk about what you did to me afterwards.~

~ **Agreed, and thank you... but there _is_  no way out.~**

~I didn't say I wasn't angry at you anymore, but right now I can't afford it. Are you saying there is no hope for a rescue?~

~ **I have been on the run from the ashrak for many many months. The Tok'ra most likely think I am dead, but in any case they do not know I have been captured by Cronus. Even if they did, it was unlikely anyone would come to rescue me. We do not have enough people for direct assaults or even stealth attacks. If someone gets captured, their only hope is that another Tok'ra, undercover at the same Goa'uld, will be able to free them. Otherwise they are on their own.~** **  
**

~That sucks! My people also doesn't know where I am.~

**~We are not dead yet, and I did not say I was giving up. When our injuries have healed more, we will try to find a way to escape.~**

~All right. Well, if we can't do anything right now, I think I'll take a nap.~

* * *

When I wake up again, I am standing, and being pushed forward by Jaffa. The pain is greatly diminished, and my arm is no longer broken. My ribs have mostly mended as well, and the concussion is gone. I am still sore in most of my body, but it is mostly just a dull ache. I must admit having a symbiote is good for something!

"Move, Tau'ri!" one of the Jaffa orders, and gives me another push. Now when I am aware of it, I notice the weird tingling or humming sensation Jolinar mentioned. Of course, the Jaffa have symbiotes as well, which we sense, but the Jaffa does not seem to notice Jolinar.

Jolinar is in control, and she walks along without telling the Jaffa who she is. I guess there is not much point in doing so. There are many Jaffa before us and behind us, they are large and heavily armed, so we do not have any chance of escaping.

It feels weird not being in control, but having your body walk along and do things anyway. I would probably panic if it weren't for the fact that I am terrified by the thought of what Cronus will do to us.

~ **Do you want control? It is better that I am in control later, when Cronus starts interrogating us, but if you feel better being in control, then take it now.~** Jolinar offers.

I consider it for a moment, then 'nods'. ~Yes, I'd like that.~

We are at a door, and have stopped while the Jaffa open it. Jolinar briefly closes her eyes and release control to me. I almost fall, in the moment or so when no one is in control of the body, but then I manage to stabilize myself and stand. The Jaffa laugh, clearly thinking I was almost fainting out of fear or my injuries.

~ **If we survive this, you will get better at taking control.~**

~I can take it from you against your will?~ I ask, as I walk forward before the Jaffa can push me.

~ **No, that is impossible for a host, but I meant when I release control to you. Tok'ra symbiotes and hosts can switch control more or less seamlessly, but most either close their eyes or dip their heads and close their eyes when they do so. The intention is to avoid showing the involuntary eyeflash at the switch, but also to show those around you who is in control.~**

~So you know who you are talking to.~I realize.

~ **Yes.~**

We continue walking for a short distance longer, then reach a large double door, guarded by two large Jaffa.

"We are bringing the Tau'ri female for interrogation," the Jaffa before me to the left says.

"Understood," one of the guards by the doors say, and they step aside, pulling the doors open.

Inside, there is a room decorated like something out of 'Conan the Barbarian', and on a throne with skins, in the room sits a man with long unkempt hair and a sort of padded armor-like outfit, with a pelt slung over his shoulder.

~He's taking the barbarian thing a bit far, isn't he?~

~ **He likes the style, yes, and were he not so powerful other Goa'uld would ridicule him for it, but do not underestimate him. He is not stupid or unknowledgable.~**

~Got it.~

 **"Ah, the Tau'ri female!"**  Cronus sneers.  **"I see that you are not so badly injured as my Jaffa had let me believe! What were you doing on that planet? The Tau'ri are a vermin I will soon wipe from the Galaxy!"**

The Jaffa push me ahead. "Kneel before your god!"

"Augh, relax!" I complain, when he gives me a hard shove against my still-sore ribs.

I wince as I am forced down on my knees before Cronus. The sensation of naquadah from all the Jaffa had blocked the signal from Cronus - at least for me, who have only just started to be aware of this sense. Now, however, I can sense Cronus. And he can sense Jolinar, obviously, from his expression.

" **I see. It would seem the Tok'ra Jolinar has not escaped me after all! How fortunate! That means I get to talk to her about her treason - unless she is too scared and keeps hiding behind her host!"**

~Treason?~

~ **I was a System Lord... more than a two thousand years ago.~**

~System Lord!~ I almost say it out loud, and let go of control of my body so Jolinar can take it. Which I realize she could have done in any case.

She snatch it before Cronus notice us sagging, and flash my eyes strongly. " **So you are still angry? Cronus, that was two thousand years ago! Besides, what did you expect?"**

 **"Not that you would attempt to destroy my empire after claiming you loved me!"** His eyes flash angrily and he glares at the Jaffa. " **Out! All of you! If you value your life!"**

"Yes, my Lord!"

The Jaffa all fled the room, followed by Cronus's lo'tar. Only Cronus remained with us.

" **Now you shall suffer, Jolinar! You will regret all you have done, but you will not be allowed to die, even if you beg me to! Not until my queen has been allowed to torture you to death as much as she wants first!"**

 **"Ah, queen Rhea still stays with you? I wonder if she has a plan to take your empire, or if she is too stupid to find a better System Lord to ally herself with..."** Jolinar says, taunting him.

~Ah, Jolinar...maybe it's not such a good idea to make him even more furious...~

~ **Relax, I know what I am doing.~**

**"How dare you slander my queen! _She_  is loyal, and would never stoop as low as you!  _Tok'ra_! I know your kind allow your hosts to speak and worse. I have always wondered - is it a defect in your abilities, or is it merely a perversion of yours?"**

**"If you think you are insulting me, you are sadly mistaken! You queen is only loyal because no one else wants her. How well suited you are for each other! You know very well that even the other Goa'uld despise you and find your fascination with primitive human culture despicable! You who are not even at the level of humans _before_  the Goa'uld found them!"**

**"I will kill you for your insolence!"** Cronus screams, completely forgetting himself - and also forgetting his hand device, because he attempts to grab hold of Jolinar and strangle her with his hands.

Jolinar, however, has clearly learned to fight, and despite the pain in our body, she moves out of the way fast. Cronus stumbles, and she is over him immediately, making sure he falls completely. She grabs a brazier standing nearby, and slams him hard over the head, knocking him unconscious. She then snatches his hand device and when nervous Jaffa opens the door to check what happened, she is already wearing the hand device.

She sends out a strong shock wave, throwing the Jaffa into disarray, then runs out of the room through a back door.

~Neat!~

~ **We are not away safely yet!~**

Jolinar runs as fast as she can through the corridors, using her ribbon device to throw any enemies aside.

~Ring transporter?~ I ask.

~ **No, we are in space. We need a ship.~**

She races for the hangar bay, and we reach it just as a large contingent of Jaffa appear at the end of the corridor. She closes the door and locks it by frying the opening glyph, like Teal'c did on Apophis's ship. She then runs past the deathgliders and I am guessing we are going for the larger ships I can see ahead. They are not of a type I have seen before - not like the deathgliders.

~Is that a teltac?~ I wonder.

~ **No. It must be parked further ahead, but I will try to get one of the alkesh's since they have weapons.~**

~Those are alkesh's?~

~ **Yes. Do not disturb me right now!~** Jolinar insists, turning around as we hear the door behind us being forced open. She sends out a shockwave at the Jaffa, felling them.

However, I can feel she - and I - are getting tired, and the Jaffa seems to keep coming. We can't keep this up for much longer.

Jolinar reaches the alkesh, and opens a door in it. It's a good thing these things aren't locked!

She quickly closes the door and runs through the corridor - presumably for the...peltak, I think it's called. ~Can this thing even be piloted by just one person?~

~ **Yes... barely - if there are no problems.~**

We reach the peltak and Jolinar waste no time to activate the ship and take it into the air - clearly faster than intended, as something sounds like it shouldn't sound that way. ~Wait, we're on a spaceship - how do we get out?~

~ **If you mean how do we get the alkesh out of the ha'tak, then the answer is that we just fly it through the forcefield. If they have not had time to program it not to allow anything to fly out. The forcefield is normally programmed to allow passage of ships _out_. It will normally only allow ships in, if they give a code.~  
**

~Makes sense. I guess.~

The ship 'shudders' as if something is hitting it.

~ **Weapons fire. The Jaffa are shooting at us with staff weapons.~**  She moves her hands a little inside the control device, and we plunge out through the forceshield. ~ **Fortunately, we were allowed through. Raising shields.~** **  
**

~We are safe?~

~ **No. They will send deathgliders. We need to enter hyperspace as soon as possible.~**

I see symbols light up on a screen, and catch Jolinar's thoughts. Deathgliders being released from the ha'tak. ~They're fast!~

**~Faster and more maneuverable than we are, but they cannot enter hyperspace on their own.~**

The ship shudder again and again as the deathgliders take potshots at it. Then a large hit almost throws us away from the controls. ~What now?~

~ **The ha'tak is firing at us!~**

~Well shoot back!~

~ **We cannot fight a squadron of deathgliders and a ha'tak. We can only flee.~**

Well do so, then!~

~ **I am!~** Jolinar gives the command, and I feel the weird shift that indicates we have jumped to hyperspace. Ahead of me space and the stars streaks and shifts in colour to blue-violet. ~ **Now we are...reasonably safe. For a while.~**

She gives a few more commands, then sits down in a chair and relaxes.

~Autopilot?~

~ **Yes, but we cannot leave the peltak but must remain on guard. We are undoubtedly being chased, and orders will have been sent to intercept. They cannot know exactly where we are going, but for time being we are flying through Cronus's space, and as long as we are there we risk being intercepted.~** Jolinar sounds as tired as I feel.

~Where are we going?~

~ **Ideally to a place I can hide the alkesh so the Tok'ra can use it again, should we need it. However, it is a large ship and difficult to hide, so that may not be possible. Otherwise, to a safe world where we can use the chaapa'ai to escape, hopefully return to the Tok'ra.~**

~Um, I am planning to go back to Earth! You haven't forgotten you promised to leave me, right?~

~ **No, of course not, but I need to find a new host first, and I have a feeling that will not be east on your world.~**

~That is...probably true,~ I concede. ~To be honest, I doubt they'd react well if I showed up as a host, and since you flashed your eyes at Colonel O'Neill, they know. In fact, I'd probably be picked up by the NID and thrown in a cell for a few decades or more, while they examined us and interrogated us, and generally prodded us in every way. No, we can't go to Earth, not until you've gotten a new host. How long will that take?~

**~I will not lie to you. Finding a new host can take quite a long time. It is something that is always difficult, particularly since I need a female host, preferably young.~**

~You've got preferences?~

~ **I have mates, and they are not attracted to males, and I do not wish to risk losing them.~**

~Whoa,  _mates_...as in you're married? Didn't you think was something I needed to know?~

~ **Since you do not intend to remain my host, it did not seem important. Besides, there were other things on my mind, such as escaping the Goa'uld. Which, might I add, we cannot yet be sure we have done.~**

I 'sigh'. ~Okay, I guess that's true. So, you're married to two guys? How is that?~

~ **Most Tok'ra are mated to another Tok'ra, meaning most have two mates. Which they share with their host.~**

~Ah, two mates, as in host and symbiote. Got it. Of course, that makes sense. I can't imagine how hard it must be to find together  _four_  people - and have all of them be in love or at least like each other a lot.~

**~It is not as difficult as you may imagine. When a full blending has taken place, host and symbiote share all deeper emotions. In essence, we love as one.~**

~That's sweet...and way more involved than I could imagine being with another lifeform...person, whatever. Isn't that strange? To feel what the other feel? I mean, I get some vague feelings from you now and then, but I'm assuming you're blocking it? Or aren't we...blended?~

**~I am blocking my feelings from you as well as I can, but no, we are not fully blended. I have held off on doing that, as it makes it much harder to separate later. Unfortunately, it also means I cannot heal you as well as I otherwise could, which is the reason your injuries are not already healed.~**

~I think what you've done already is quite impressive - and I guess it's safer not to...uh, blend fully. It wouldn't exactly be very good if I ended up falling in love with your boyfriends...mates.~ I say, jokingly.

 **~No, it would not.~** Jolinar answers, quite seriously.

~So, tell me about them? Your mates, I mean.~

**~I need to focus on healing the rest of the damage to your body, and as weak as I am, I also need to rest, even if I cannot afford to sleep right now. You will hopefully meet them soon.~**

~You are weak from healing me?~

**~And from trying to heal my previous host, Quinta. And from changing host two times in less than a half year, when it should not be done more often than once every several years, at most. Parts of a symbiotes body tears during separation, particularly the tendrils we use to connect to the host. Those needs to regrow and it takes energy - and time.~**

~Oh. But can you even leave me then?~

~ **I can, in time. Trying to do so right now would almost certainly kill us both, so it is perhaps fortunate it will take time to locate a new host.~**

Jolinar becomes silent, and I leave her alone, thinking about all that has happened recently, and all the new things I have learned. It has not even been a day since I became Jolinar's host, and before that I had never imagined there could exist Goa'uld who were not evil and didn't suppress their hosts. It has given me a lot to think about.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam POV 

I jump up at the sound of an alarm, and realizes I have dozed off. It turns out I am not the only one, and I mentally 'shout' at Jolinar while I frantically try to find out what the problem is.

She wakes up slowly, and sounds groggy when she speaks.  **~What? What is going on?~** Then she hears the alarm.  **~The alarm!~**

She grabs control quickly, and I feel my eyes flash. I start to protest, but then realize that now is not the time, and that every moment could be important if we are to escape.

Not wanting to distract her, I observe as she manipulates the controls. She is not hiding her thoughts, and listening in on them I realize that we have fallen out of hyperspace, probably due to damage sustained when the ha'tak shot at us. Unfortunately, this is apparently a bad part of the Galaxy, and we are in an area that belongs to a Goa'uld called Sokar. I get the feeling he is a really bad one, and that Jolinar is terrified of being captured by him, and sent to... Netu?

She runs to open a small compartment full of crystals which are used to control various things on the ship - among others the hyperdrive. Apparently an overload has caused it to burn out, but surprisingly there are actually spares, and she plugs on in. Racing back to the peltak, she finally gets the hyperdrive online again, just as the ships sensor warns of another ship approaching.

We are safely back in hyperspace, zipping towards whatever planet Jolinar has picked.

~Where is Netu? And what is it?~

**~A prison planet belonging to Sokar. He has transformed it to an actual version of Hell. I do not wish to talk about it.~**

~Okay. So, how far are we from a safe planet?~

**~Unfortunately we started from a place where there are no safe planets nearby, but we should reach Rokala in another five hours - if all goes well. That is an uninhabited planet, with no interest to the Goa'uld, but it has a chaapa'ai.~**

~Okay, but if we are still five hours away, then I need a bathroom very soon - and some food would be nice too.~

There is a smile in Jolinar's voice when she answers. ~ **Yes, I completely agree! Do not forget - I share this body with you, so I feel this as well as you do! Do not worry, there are... _bathrooms_  onboard, of course, and there is usually at least emergency rations and water. We will not suffer.~**

* * *

Surprisingly, there are no further incident, and we land safely on the planet Rokala. Jolinar puts down the alkesh in a clearing in a forest not too far from the Stargate - but hiding the ship somewhat, despite its size. She hopes the Tok'ra can return to repair and use it further. It is apparently rare they have ships larger than those  _teltacs_  she mentioned, and even those are rare. I get the sense that Jolinar is a good deal more daring than most Tok'ra, and will take chances most others would not.

~Jolinar...can we somehow send a message to Stargate Command and tell them I am okay? I mean, they won't really believe anything I say, but maybe it will at least go some way towards making them less suspicious when I do return. Also...I've been thinking...don't you think our people could work together? Be allies? I mean, we share the same goal.~

~ **You people cannot receive a transmission through hyperspace, and radio would take a long time, unless we dial your world and send it through. The problem with that is that I do not have anything that put out radio signals - it would have to be fashioned for that use, as it is not commonly used by the Tok'ra or the Goa'uld. It travels too slowly to be of any use.~** She thinks about it for a moment. ~ **We could leave a message somewhere your people will find it?~**

~Yes! With the people of the land of the light! My people go there regularly, so they would get it! Jolinar - what about the alliance-idea?~

~ **It is a good idea, but I doubt my people would be willing. At least there are some it would be hard to convince. They would be afraid that it meant danger to us - and you - if you have knowledge of us and our whereabouts. Perhaps...if you could offer hosts, which is the one thing we always need.~**

~I...am not sure. Doubtful, but I think it is worth trying to let our people meet. Don't you? I mean, if we know nothing of the other, then we end up killing each other by accident.~

~ **Yes...I can see you destroyed two of Apophis's ships that had travelled to your world. I know there were Tok'ra operatives at his court, and they may have been on the ships. I see your point. I will try and suggest it to the Council.~**

~Thanks. Now, how do we make that message to the SGC? Do you have any paper?~

~ **No, that is rarely used, so there is unlikely to be any onboard the alkesh, but you can write a message on a portable computer.~**

We had been about to exit the alkesh, but now Jolinar returns to one of the rooms and rummages about in the drawers and cupboards until she finds what she is looking for.

~That is a computer?~

~ **A small portable one, yes.~**  She turns it on and give me a stylus after opening a program. ~ **Write your message. I will make it so it opens as the first thing when the computer is turned on.~** She gives me control.  **  
**

I start writing. ~Will it have enough power to last until my people get it?~

Jolinar grins. ~ **It has enough power to last for thousands of years, even if it is powered on for centuries of the time!~**

~Okay...I suppose you're a bit ahead of us in that area then...~ I admit, as I finish writing a short message. ~Do you want to add anything?~

~ **While I understand what you write because I am in your head, I cannot write your language. Were we blended I would learn it automatically, but as it is now I would have to write in Goa'uld.~**

~That's okay. Daniel can read it - or Teal'c can help him.~

~ **I will keep to standard Goa'uld then.~**

Jolinar takes control and write a short note, mostly apologizing for taking me as host, and suggesting we find a way to meet and discuss an allians - and assuring that the Tok'ra are not the same as the Goa'uld. I have no idea how people at Stargate Command will take this - or even how my teammates will take it. We'll see, I guess.

After that, we leave the alkesh and walk to the Stargate. I can feel that every part of my body is still sore, but it is still amazing that I can walk at all, because I had broken an arm, several ribs, cracked a bone in the leg, and had a really bad concussion - and multiple cuts and bruises. Jolinar has mended most, and promises to take care of the rest as soon as possible.

We are both deeply exhausted, and look forward to sleeping somewhere safe.

* * *

We arrive on the planet of the land of the light, and I must admit they looked strangely at me, and with concern. While we have stuffed the hand device in a pocket to not look  _too_  conspicuous, I only now realize that my clothes are bloody and torn, and that I probably doesn't look too well.

After declining their kind offers of shelter and food - because Jolinar wants back to the Tok'ra as soon as possible and doesn't want to risk anyone from Earth showing up - we give the Goa'uld 'portable computer' to their leader, Tuplo. He promises to hand it over to my people - though he is somewhat confused why I can't do it myself - and then we go back to the Stargate.

I do see what Jolinar mean - and I have to agree with it. If someone from Earth should show up while we are here, I am sure they've been told to apprehend us. That could end in fighting and either we'd end up harming them or we'd end up being shot and/or taken back to Earth, as prisoners. And in that situation I doubt I'd ever convince anyone Jolinar isn't a Goa'uld, which means we'd both be prisoners and guinea pigs for the NID for the foreseeable future.

No, that we can't risk!

Jolinar dials a stopover world, and we go through the wormhole after she has put the hand device back on.

It turns out to be a good thing, because that world is no longer a safe world!

A Goa'uld and his Jaffa are standing a short distance from the Stargate, and he shouts at his Jaffa to capture me the moment we are through. Jolinar dives for a group of rocks and just makes it behind them before the staff weapon shots zoom past us.

~Why can't I ever get a break! Dammit!~

~ **It is most unfortunate a Goa'uld has decided to explore this world. He may decide to make it part of his domain.~** Jolinar raises her hand and holds it over the rocks for a moment, throwing a strong shockwave at the Goa'uld and the Jaffa.  **  
**

It is clear they did not expect that, because they are thrown into disarray. Jolinar quickly stands and sends off another shockwave, but the Goa'uld had not been hit before and gets one off too, knocking us over backwards.

My poor body screams from the new injuries, but Jolinar manage to get up enough to see that the Goa'uld was hit too, and is now picking himself up. Jolinar shoots another shockwave at him, almost making us both pass out from exhaustion, but the Goa'uld and his Jaffa are down.

Jolinar gets up, only barely conscious, and on wobbly feet goes to the DHD and dials a new world, hopefully safe this time. Just as we step through, a staff shot zings my left leg, and we almost fall - through the wormhole, fortunately.

Through the Stargate, Jolinar pulls us to the DHD and dials a new address immediately, and we stumble through. Then she dials yet another, and somehow we walk through to that world as well.

We fall out on the planet, half-rolling down the few stairs to the fortunately soft sand. ~ **Home!~**  is the last words I hear from Jolinar before she fades out of consciousness.

I am not much better off than she is, but drags myself to the DHD. At least anyone opening the wornhole won't vaporize us.

I have a vague idea that Jolinar wanted to go towards the dunes, so I crawl a little further, then manage to get up and take several steps towards them, but then I fall. The numbness after the shot in my leg is lifting and the pain is almost unbearable. I cry out, and roll over on my back, trying to gather the strength to move further.

Suddenly, as if out of no where, I am surrounded by people in beige clothes...uniforms I would say, from the similarity between their outfits.

" **Who are you, and what are you doing here, Goa'uld?"** an older man says harshly.

I try to focus on him, then open my mouth to speak, but no words get out. I cough, and then manage to talk. "I'm not a Goa'uld. I'm...Captain Samantha Carter...of the Tau'ri."

" **You have a symbiote,"** a young man says, his tone as if I am a fool.

I roll my eyes. "I know." I frown. I  _know_  him. Somehow. "Martouf?"

He stares at me for a moment, then dips his head. "How do you know that name?"

So it was the symbiote speaking before, and now the host. These are Tok'ra. I just know it. We are home...no, Jolinar is home. They can help us!

"Jolinar...of Malkshur. I'm...her host." I manage to say, before I pass out.

* * *

Martouf POV

~Jolinar? She is  _Jolinar's_ host? What happened to Rosha?~ I fall to my knees beside the young woman and check on her vital signs.

~ **I don't know, Martouf,~**  Lantash answers sadly. ~ **But I cannot imagine Jolinar would ever leave her, if she was still alive.~**

I hold my hand over her forehead. ~Jolinar is very weak, and they are so badly injured!~

" **We should get her to the healers quickly - then they can also determine if she really is Jolinar."** Cordesh says. " **You had better remove the kara'kesh, in case it is an impostor."**

I don't like what he is saying, but I know it is true. There  _is_  the possibility that Jolinar was compromised, and that this is someone else, claiming to be her. However, I think the probability is low, given how badly they are injured, and that it was the host speaking. A host from the Tau'ri!

I remove the kara'kesh and put it in my bag, then get up and pick up the young woman, and with her in my arms, I hurry to the ring transporter.


	4. Chapter 4

Martouf POV 

"How is Jolinar?" I ask of the healer, Rinok. "And her host."

"First, yes, it  _is_  Jolinar. I have compared a tissue sample of her code of life to what we have on file..." He is scanning them, and when he has finished, he looks to me again, a serious expression on his face. "Their wounds are very bad, and I cannot say their survival is assured. The most resent wound is from a staff weapon, so they have crossed paths with Jaffa. Jolinar is not healing her host as quickly as normally, and she is very weak. It looks as if she has changed host more than once during the last half year."

"My poor Jolinar!" I gently stroke her hand, doing my best to keep my composure.

Rinok takes another scanner and examines Jolinar more with it. "The transference to this host happened very recently. I believe it was no more than a day or so ago. I also believe she has not made all the connections yet - in fact, her tendrils had only barely regrown enough to connect fully."

"Is that why they are not healing correctly?" I ask.

"Most likely, because without the connections fully in place, a complete blending will probably not have been possible."

~ **That - or this host... _Captain Samantha Carter,_  has not agreed to remain a permanent host.~ **Lantash suddenly observes, sounding worried.

"Could...could it be that they are not blended because the host...because she hasn't agreed to be Jolinar's host, permanently? Could this have been a joining out of necessity, for them both?" I wonder.

"Possibly, but if they do not blend fully, Jolinar will not be able to save herself or her host - even with our assistance. I will repair her tendrils with a healing device, and then initiate the blending."

Lantash wants control, and I bow my head. " **Perhaps...you should wait until we have talked to the host. Forcing her to remain Jolinar's host is...distasteful."**

"It is the only way either of them will live! Do you not think this host will prefer life with Jolinar, instead of dying? What about your mate? Do you not want her to live?"

" **Yes! Of course we want her to live! More than anything! However, we do not want to do something that is against everything she believes in!"** Lantash exclaims, furious and heartbroken at the same time. ~ **Martouf?~**

~I...love Jolinar. I cannot see her die when there is a way for her to live. I cannot.~

~ **Neither can I.~** He takes a deep breath and makes a decision. " **Heal the tendrils - and initiate the full blending."**

Rinok nods, and grabs a healing device. "Please give me some space to work."

Lantash takes a few steps back, and with baited breath we wait as Rinok works.

First Rinok uses a healing device on Jolinar. Then he picks up an injector, and presses it against her neck, then takes a small device that I have no idea what is used for. He runs it over her neck for a few moments, then gives her another injection, then take the healing device again. After a few moments he starts running the healing device over her and her host's entire body, focusing on critical points here and there.

" **Well?"** Lantash asks, anxiously, when Rinok steps aside.

"I have healed the tendrils, and initiated the blending. From what I can tell, it is continuing as it should, and they will soon be fully blended. By then Jolinar will have better control of her host's body, and will be able to heal her - at least when she has regained some of her strength. I have given her a strengthening potion, and healed some of the worst damage to her host. Now their bodies must rest and heal on their own for a little while before I can use the healing device again. It is my hope that Jolinar's natural abilities will be strong enough that they will need little help after the blending is complete."

" **Thank you.** **May we remain here?"**

"Of course, but please do not disturb them in any way."

" **I will not."** Lantash sits down on a chair a short distance from the platform where our Jolinar is lying. Now all there is to do is wait and hope.

* * *

~I wish I knew what had happened to Rosha.~

~ **Jolinar knows. We will learn of it when she awakens.~**  Lantash hugs me. ~ **I miss her so much! Our sweet Rosha!~**

~Yes. I...cannot fathom that she is dead, but there can be no other explanation. Jolinar would never leave her, as you say.~

~ **She is beautiful. Jolinar's new host, I mean.~**

~Yes, she is. I hope she will come to love us.~

**~You know she will, now when they are fully blended.~**

~She is not Rosha...is it betrayal if we take...Captain Samantha Carter as our mate?~

~ **No...it would be betrayal of Rosha's legacy, and of Jolinar, if we did not.~**

~Is she truly of the Tau'ri, you think?~

~ **That is what she said.~** Lantash looks up as someone enters. It is Saroosh/Selmak. " **Greetings."**

"Hello, Lantash, Martouf." Saroosh looks at Jolinar on the platform. "How is she?"

" **According to the healer, they are not quite out of danger yet, but we have hope they will pull through."**

"That is good." Saroosh smiles a little sadly at us. "I am sorry about Rosha. We will all miss her."

Lantash nods. " **We will. Very much."**

"What is the name of Jolinar's new host?"

" **She said...Captain Samantha Carter, but the first is almost certainly her rank. From her clothing, I believe she is a warrior on her world."**

Saroosh nods. "That is quite possible. They are fully blended?"

" **The healer initiated the full blending in order to allow Jolinar to heal her host better. He believes...they had not had time to do so, as it is probably not much more than a day since Jolinar entered this woman."**

"I see. They seem to have been through much together already." She gives us a cunning look. "But you suspect there is another explanation?"

" **I believe Jolinar would have found time to at least start the full blending, when their condition is as dire as this, and they need it to live! The only other explanation I can see is that her host... had not agreed to remain a host. Perhaps...she just agreed temporary, in order for both to live."**

"If that is the case, there may be some problems when they wake up and are fully blended. Separating then will not be easy on the host. But then she may no longer want it."

**"I do not like that thought! She would not have truly consented then!"**

"Lantash, you are young and idealistic. Life has grey zones, and things are not always so black and white. As long as Jolinar did not take this host without getting her consent, then I am sure they will learn to get along."

" **Yes. You are probably correct, Saroosh."** Lantash smiles a little at her.

"What about you and Martouf? How do you feel about this new host of Jolinar's? She is taking the place of Rosha."

" **We miss Rosha very badly, but we are grateful for...Samantha Carter, that she has brought our Jolinar home to us."**

"She will be your mate - unless you decides not to continue the relationship. Can you be there for both of them? If this blending is something Samantha Carter will take time to accept, then both she and Jolinar will need your support and love. You must be certain you can give it."

" **Of course we want the relationship to continue!"** Lantash exclaims, harsher than he wanted to. " **We both love Jolinar so very deeply. We could never give her up."**

"And her new host? She should not just be accepted due to Jolinar, but loved for herself."

" **I know, and while we do not yet know her, I do not believe that will be a problem. She is certainly attractive to us, and we know she is strong and brave. She brought our Jolinar back here, despite clearly having been attacked and injured by Jaffa."**

"Good." Saroosh dips her head.

" **You have my condolences for Rosha as well. I am relieved Jolinar has returned, at least, and I very much hope she will live. I look forward to thanking her new host for bringing Jolinar back here to us."**

 **"As do we."** Lantash sighs. " **Thank you, Selmak and Saroosh. Right the pain from hearing of Rosha's death is very raw, but with Jolinar here with us, we will be all right, I believe. We do look forward to getting to know Samantha Carter."**

* * *

"They are healing well now." Rinok says when he has finished scanning Jolinar and Samantha Carter. "The blending is complete. I believe they will regain consciousness tomorrow morning, at least."

"That sounds very good." I say, feeling very relieved.

"You should get something to eat, and sleep a little while. They will not be awake until tomorrow, and you are no help to them if you are exhausted."

"I am fine." I insist, Lantash agreeing with me.

"You are not 'fine', Martouf. You look exhausted! I am the healer, remember? I can order you to your rooms if I want to, and not allow you back after they have woken up!"

"Please, do not do that!" I say, terrified.

"I will not...  _if_  you do as I say. Go eat. Sleep some hours, then you will be allowed back here. Understood?"

"Yes." I sigh, and do as I am told. Lantash is making defiant comments in my head, but neither of us want to risk not being allowed to be there when Jolinar and Samantha Carter wakes up.

* * *

Sam POV

I slowly wake up. I try to remember what has happened, and where I am. Bits and pieces of what happened the last days are floating back to me. I was taken as a host - by a Tok'ra. The mere thought doesn't scare me any longer. So much has happened since then, and I have talked so much to Jolinar, that having her there feels... _almost_  normal. Almost.

Right now I only feel her as a presence in the back of my mind, but it is strangely...comforting. I know that no matter where I am or what happens, I will not have to face it alone.

It doesn't feel like the intrusion I would have thought, to have her in my head. I mean, yes, she can read my thoughts if she want to, but I trust her - and somehow I don't mind.

Even less today than yesterday. Weird.

We were almost blown up, we were captured by Jaffa, we were  _shot_  by Jaffa... my body hurt everywhere, I could barely move, and Jolinar lost consciousness, I think. I must have done the same.

I have a vague memory of arriving  _home_ , that is, in Jolinar's home. I remember seeing people in beige outfits... one of which was... Martouf. I felt safe. I wonder how Jolinar's relationship with this Martouf is?

I realize I feel tingling from all around me, so I must be in a place where there are naquadah everywhere, and symbiotes everywhere. It feels...right.

Do I even dare move? I am afraid of how much my body will hurt! Eventually, I open my eyes and stretch - except for a mild soreness, nothing hurts!

~Wow, Jolinar! Well done!~ I tell her, even though I suspect she is sleeping. No doubt tired from healing me.

"Samantha Carter?" a familiar voice says, and I turn my head to see Martouf.

He was sitting on a chair nearby, and now got up and stepped up to my bed. "Yes." I look at him. "Martouf."

He nods. "Yes, I am Martouf." He stroke my hand.

I smile at him, feeling happiness when I see him. Love. I turn my hand over and take hold of his, then I frown. Love? He is very attractive, but I don't know this man! Why am I holding his hand? Why did he stroke my hand?

"I...am confused." I admit.

He smiles. "That is understandable. You are Captain Samantha Carter?"

"Yes. Captain is my rank. I guess... you could call me Samantha. I think that works better." Is he Jolinar's mate, I think? Part of me very much hopes so!

"Samantha. It is a beautiful name... for a beautiful woman."

I feel myself blush a little. "Thanks." I shake my head. "I feel...um, my feelings for you seems...weirdly stronger than they should have." I admit, feeling stupid. "Is it because of Jolinar?"

"Yes, it is. She is my mate. The healer was forced to initiate the full blending between you and Jolinar, in order for her to be able to save you. The blending causes your stronger emotions to merge - meaning you will feel what Jolinar feels." He looks at me with concern. "I am sorry if that is not what you wanted, but there was no other way, of you were to survive. Either of you."

I nod slowly. "It was not, but strangely enough...I am not angry. Worried about my future, yes, but not angry." I frown.

Martouf sighs. "That too is probably due to the blending."

"Wait, Jolinar is your  _mate_?"

"She is, yes." He smiles at me, then looks searchingly at me. "I assume Jolinar is still asleep or unconscious?"

"Yes, I think so. She didn't react when I spoke to her at least."

"She is sleeping deeply, then, in order to regain her strength after the ordeal. I...will call for the healer. Just to confirm that all is well."

"Of course."

* * *

Martouf POV

The healer came quickly. Today another healer is on duty, her name is Silja. She scans Samantha and Jolinar, and confirms that Jolinar is merely in a deep resting sleep to regain her energy.

Samantha is healed, but will be somewhat sore for a day or so. She does not have to remain in the healers rooms, though.

"Would you like something to eat? Or would you perhaps prefer a bath first?" I ask.

Samantha is sitting up on the platform now, and she smiles - she look stunningly beautiful when she smiles! "Both sounds wonderful!" She grimaces as she touches her clothes. "But I think I'd like a bath first - do you know if there is some clothes I can borrow?"

"As Jolinar's new host, you have inherited all Rosha's clothes. However, Rosha was almost a full head smaller than you, and of a more slight build as well, so I do not believe you will be able to fit most of it." I consider it, and discuss it with Lantash. "There are clothes in the commissary, if nothing of Jolinar's will fit."

"Okay, let's take a look at it." Samantha says.

* * *

Sam POV

Martouf takes me through the corridors to the Jolinar's quarters, I assume. Or maybe he shares quarters with her? Since they are mates?

Martouf is Jolinar's mate! I am fully blended with Jolinar, and that probably explains why I feel her emotions for him. Not that Martouf isn't gorgeous enough that I might very well fall for him on my own, but I am not the type for love at first sight, so I think it would take longer.

We meet several Tok'ra on the way, all of which seem somehow familiar to me. Their names come to me, as I pass them. It is really weird. They have clearly heard about me, because they nod at me or greet me.

We reach some quarters, and enters. Are these Jolinar's? Or does she share them with Martouf? What about me, then? Where will I sleep? Jolinar said that a full blending means it is very difficult to separate, so will I remain her host permanently? And if I do, what about Martouf?

"I apologize, but the place is somewhat messy." Martouf says, picking up a shirt from the floor.

I notice more of what is obviously his clothes, and gets my answer, these quarters are his and Jolinar's.

"Wait, you said Jolinar is your mate - what does that mean? I mean, for me?"

"You are also my mate, of course." Martouf says, smiling a little shyly. "I hope you do not mind?" He adds, anxiously. "We understand if you want time to get to know us, of course. We will get some free time in which to learn more of each other."

"Um...I... I don't know what to say! I mean, I don't know you at all, but I have very strong feelings for you. Which is very weird. But you.. I mean, I'm just someone who accidentally became Jolinar's host... I can totally understand if you don't want me!"

"Samantha." Martouf takes my hand. "It is true that I do not know you, but I already like you. Lantash and I are very sure that we will come to love you very much." He entwines his fingers with mine. "Please tell me that you will at least give us a chance?"

"I...of course." I smile at him. "Everything is just so confusing - and I really wanted to go back to my life on Earth, but I realize that would be difficult, as host to Jolinar."

"Do you have a mate back on your world? The world of the Tau'ri?"

"No." I shake my head. "I do not. Yes, I am from the Tau'ri. I work for something called Stargate Command, and I consider my work important."

"What do you do?" Martouf asks, interested.

"I am a scientist, but also a...warrior, I guess is your word. We go through the Stargate...the chaapa'ai, as you call it, to look for technology to fight the Goa'uld and protect our world."

"That is very very dangerous, Samantha!"

"We don't have a choice! After we opened the Stargate a few years ago, we were attacked, and we need to defend ourselves. Anyway, don't you do the same, in a way?"

"Yes...we do. But the people of your world is...very new to the dangers of the Galaxy. You do not know what it is your are getting yourself into."

"Yeah, yeah...you're not the first to tell us." I sigh. "Anyway, I wanted to go back in order to continue doing this work, which is important to me."

"Can't you do the same here? We fight the Goa'uld as well."

"Yes...I suppose I can, but it is still difficult to just leave all you know behind, all your friends..."

Martouf nods. "I understand, and I realize it is hard for you to make a decision so quickly. Will you at least see if you can come to accept living among the Tok'ra? I am sure Anise or Malek would let you join one of the science groups."

He looks so very hopeful, and I can't make myself tell him no. Besides, I can't go home right now, if ever. Not as a host.

I nod slowly. "Yes, I will. I can't go home right now in any case. Who knows, maybe our people can become friends? In fact, I thought I'd suggest it?"

"You can talk to the Council about it. I am afraid they may not be very open to the idea, but it is worth trying."

"Jolinar said the same." I give him a wry grin. "We'll, let's look at those clothes, shall we?"

* * *

It turned out that there were a small number of dresses that were of the one-size-fits all type, that I could fit into, and I picked one of those, then took a wonderful bath. Fortunately, Martouf and Jolinar have a private bathroom, with their own bath, as many couples apparently do, because otherwise there are public pools, and I was not up for nude public bathing right now.

"Can we go to the commissary when we have eaten, and see what other clothes they have?" I ask, when I have bathed and dressed, and joined Martouf in the large room. "I'm not used to wearing dresses."

The quarters are made up of one large room with a large desk, several chairs, a table, and a couch. There is also a bathroom, and a bedroom, which is where the closets and drawers with clothes are.

"Of course." He smiles at me. "You look very good in that dress, though, Samantha."

"Um, thanks."

Why do I blush when he compliments me? I know why - he is gorgeous. Also, whether it's due to Jolinar's emotions affecting me, or because I am falling for him on my own, I know that I am feeling a very strong love for him. I want to hug him and kiss him - and remove that sadness from his face which appears frequently. When he is thinking of Rosha, I have no doubt.

* * *

We have just finished eating, and are on the way to the commissary, when Jolinar awakens. I stop for a moment, and hold up my hand. Martouf realizes, and stops beside me.

~Jolinar? Are you okay?~

~ **Yes, I am fine. I am no longer so completely exhausted as I was earlier. We are in the tunnels? With _Martouf_?~**

~Yes. Healed up and safe.~

~ **And fully blended. I know, the healer caused it to happen.~**

~From what I understand, there was no other choice.~

~ **True. You are not angry?~**

~Not really. I do want to work towards finding a way to meet with my people, and ally with them. Then maybe we can do some sort of exchange program. Another thing...I am...ridiculous in love with Martouf. I take it that is your fault?~

~ **We share strong feelings like love when fully blended, yes, but my feelings should not have affected you so much so quickly - particularly since I was not conscious.~**

~How, then?~

~ **It is no doubt partly from me, but I would guess it is also because you are genuinely attracted to Martouf.~**

~I've never believed in love at first sight!~

 **~One time should be the first!~**  Jolinar grins. ~ **May I have control?~** **  
**

~Of course.~ I bow my head.

Jolinar takes control and immediately smiles at Martouf. "Beloved, I have missed you so much!"

"We have missed you terribly also, Jolinar."

They embrace each other tightly, and for several moments they just cling to each other. Then they kiss. The love, feelings of comfort, safety, happiness that is coursing through me from her is fantastic. I have never experienced anything so wonderful.

"I am sorry, I could not save Rosha." Jolinar says, and I suddenly feel terribly sad.

Martouf holds her close. " **We know, please do not blame yourself. We mourn her deeply, but we are grateful to have you back."**

Woops, not Martouf. Instead, his symbiote. Lantash. They must have switched control while they were embracing.

It is strange to hear the Tok'ra symbiotes talk. Before...I only thought of Goa'uld when I heard that voice, but I am already getting used to it coming from 'good guys'. Well, starting to get used to.

A flood of memories of Lantash and Martouf flows through my mind - many of them erotic. ~Whoa! Oversharing a bit, aren't we? I feel like I am intruding on your personal life!~

**~If you intend to remain my host, you will also be Martouf and Lantash's mate. Do you object to that?~**

~Well, um. That depends on...well, no, I suppose I don't.~

~ **Then you are part of this 'personal life'.~** She kisses Lantash again. " **Shall we go to the commissary and see if there are some clothing Samantha might like?"**

**"Of course."**

* * *

We ended up finding quite a lot of suitable clothes - and some very...a sexy ones as well, which Jolinar insisted on getting. I also managed to get several Tok'ra uniforms, because while I like dresses now and then, I am not used to wearing them as often as Jolinar likes.

So we will compromise.

After getting the clothes, we went to the Council, so Jolinar - and I - could be debriefed. That took a very long time, and when I thought all was over and we could leave, Jolinar pulled out a whammy of an information.

One of the Tok'ra was not who he said he was! Cordesh was an impostor, and sent by Cronus! It was he who caused Rosha and Jolinar to be discovered.

Cordesh was furious, but Jolinar insisted they search his quarters, which they did. They found a long range communicator, and Cordesh admitted his guilt - or rather started spewing angry stuff about how the Goa'uld would kill all the Tok'ra.

Suffice to say, Cordesh was removed from the Council, and he was actually taken to be extracted. They are removing him from his host, and killing him!

I feel sorry for the host!

~ **Samantha, thank you for not asking to have _me_  removed, after taking you as host without permission.~**

~Seems like that wouldn't be in my interest, would it? Not after blending fully. Or didn't I understand that correctly.~

**~You did, but I am still amazed you did not ask for some punishment - like that I would not be allowed to take control for ten years, or something. I would have understood that.~**

~Honestly, I would feel like  _I_  was a Goa'uld if I asked for something like that. Jolinar, let's stop talking about that. I would like to start thinking of how we contact my people, and how we get some sort of agreement working between Earth and the Tok'ra.~

~ **Yes, I have not forgotten. We should talk with Anise, or some other of the scientists, and see if they can make a radio we can use to talk to them through the chaapa'ai. Since they have the iris we cannot go there directly.~**

~That is a good first start. We should also talk to the Council about it.~

**~I suggest we start with Saroosh and Selmak. They will be the most likely to agree.~**

~All right.~

~ **I suggest we find Martouf and Lantash, and then go together and get something to eat. Then I would like to rest. I am still not completely rested after this ordeal.~**

~I understand - and agree.~

We go to find Martouf and Lantash. My life has really changed a lot in a short time, but I think I might come to like this. I am very sure I will come to like Martouf and Lantash!

If we can get an alliance or something between Earth and the Tok'ra, then maybe I can work part-time there, and part-time here. That would be ideal.

I have hopes it will be possible, but for now I will spend some time with Jolinar's mates, and get to know them better. I very much look forward to it!

(This is a beginning, not an end - and I will try to get a sequel written)


End file.
